i guess i just have too much time on my hands right now...my job is kinda seasonally busy...& it seems we're getting more & more into the not-so-busy season...yeah, i know it's gonna be my problem soon, but i already started to cover my bases on that one...i've started sending out my resume, posting online at all the job sites, Monster, careerbuilder, yahoo hotjobs, ajc.com, co. sites u name it... i do get tired trying to make 1 cover ltr seem better than the next one...& my work experience? my 1-page resume that's supposed to be able to tell a future employer just how great a worker i am, & just how lucky they will be to hire someone like me...(who mtm, loves to float around w/ her head in the air, writing journals saved on my c:drive, now this...the freedom of blogging has found me!...oh boy, wait until u hear all i could write about...my life, people's lives, my fantasies, & the realities, the little cubes we revolve in just gets too cramped for me...i can't even express myself anymore...i meant to say, it's too damned cramped for me! i probably just need this space & VOILA, here it is. Thanks to the founders of this blogging revolution... )
well, where was i? the questions why...
why am i blogging now...aside from having too much time, i also got too much energy in my brains that don't get much practice. i suppose, reading books in my morning & afternoon commute, my daily relating with my family, the household chores, the chats with friends, the boxes of "things to do", what else? the music that's been put on the shelf, the website that is somewhere sitting in my c:drive with tons of cool stuff...waiting to be ...what? waiting to be worked on?....no, more like ...waiting to be recovered, discovered, whatever...since i've recovered from my "dark" days...i've been taking my time...taking long deep breaths instead of hurried and stressed from too much energy that needs to come out...cause came out it did...
out in the deep end where nobody dare go...Only the brave can come back from where my mind have been traipsing...travelling i call it... my mini vacations...but that's in the past.
anyway, so why again?
because, i can...right now, right here.
& if for some paranoic reasons (of mine)...i won't be able to anymore (that's in the future)
... Alas (with heavy drama)...i'll probably turn to reading Shakespeare and sporting black reading glasses, become a teacher's assistant or a librarian or something very obscurely safe like that...I love safety, i love anonymity - that's why i'm here (how ironic!)...
But yes, i do love anonymity...even with all my talents that were waiting to explode, & sometimes they did...like little sparks, or shooting stars...i still love to be able to just BE...
just be with mySelf, with all my contradictions...i don't anymore try to find reasons for them cause that only exhausted me & everyone trying to understand or the better word is...trying to put me in a box...
at least here, i'm in a limitless box, within a box....so, i'm almost like, i'm imagining being under beautiful crystal clear blue waters, my eyes open & seeing everything there is to appreciate & see...but really, i'm in my cube...like a mini-aquarium...I should've named myself after some favorite fish...but i didn't think of that before....hmm, cause maybe i don't know the names of my favorite fishes (they're tropical fishes, i also love goldfishes, someday i will have my own pond with a Japanese garden)...that's my dream...
for now, i better sign off...i still need my paycheck to paycheck, until the next job/career comes along...i know, it won't just come along...of course i'm searching but i just need a little creative mindbreak right now...
my thanks to the bloggers.com' founding fathers & mothers again...
what else wud i have been doing if not this right now?....
(probably getting bored, checking more job-searching sites, how much more can i search, before i have to start paying some Agent to find me another job that i'll probably get tired of too)
well, maybe if i just sit here & talk to myself...that "dream job" will come to me...yeah right. maybe it will come in a dream!
...maybe, if "Muhammad can't go to the mountain, maybe the mountain will come to Muhammad"...i've always believed in that...oops, that should be the other way around isnt it?
"...if the mountain doesn't come to Muhammad, Muhammad will go to the mountain!"...right on.
happy trails, till then,
still searching,
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