good morning I,
sometimes i think only my kids "get" me. nobody else in the world can get me all the time. my 12 yr old girl knows exactly when i'm getting grumpy before i even recognize it myself...(talk abt an early warning device!) she's great that way...she goes: "Mom, why are u grumpy?" & i yell back "No, i'm not!, i'm just...Wow, ur right, i am a little pissed off...& then i stop & think..." so she's wonderful to have around. & then my little one, has a way of melting my heart. never fails. whatever mood i'm in, he heightens it into a positive note...every morning, before i leave for work i have to kiss him & greet him a beautiful morning even tho. he's still sleeping...just looking at his face makes my day. but on the weekends, forgedaboudit! he becomes some kind of a little dictator around the house...yelling orders like: "I want cartoons!", " I want ma-mam & i want ma-mam now!", or "Mommy, let's play!! U be this soldier, & i be that"...."or U be Rocky & i be Billy! (from his Rescue Heroes)....& wakes up the whole house to serve him...& now that he's potty trained, he goes to the toilet by himself like a big guy, my swashbuckling cowboy/soldier...I got him allright. i really should count my blessings...at least there's 2 people in the world who can totally take me for who i am...not even my husband can get me.
...u know those moments when ur only trying to communicate something & all these other stuff come up, & u just wanna give up & shut down...my husband doesn't get that all i'm saying is:
"can u pls. understand me thru all this confusion?" instead of judging me...asking why, & bringing back what was said & done before...saying stuff like, "don't be starting something again..." when i'm not trying to start anything really, just reaching out...can U hear me?
that's why, God blessed me with these two very intuitive & sensitive kids who know me before i even say anything...they GOT what it is i'm trying to say or make happen, & when something is not happening, they also know there is something missing...& it melts my heart every time one of them asks me: "why are u mad Mommy?", & both of us get stopped on our one sided-track ( a train wreck waiting to happen) & we go, "no baby, Mom & Daddy are just talking..." or some lame excuse... "trying to have a conversation..." & we become quiet, lost in our own train of thoughts.
that kinda summarizes our 5-year marriage...still trying to have a conversation...a real conversation.
...hmm, what brought this up? i don't know, just missing my kids during some free time at work. i'm so pathetic!
but hey, i don't want to dampen anybody's day that's turning out to be sunny & gorgeous after all...despite the weather forecast,
so, "keeping on the sunny side"...
till then,
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