quiet thoughts...

(4:30 pm at the ofc.)

not much to do around here,
so I BLOG...
still sticking to my "less is more" style of blogging,
maybe even less commas
or punctuations?...
but don't we all need to pause sometimes?

well, my weekend with the family was great...
we watched "Shark Tale"
with our little boy who sat at the edge of his booster-seat,
in awe at all that wonderful animation & grooving with the music...
cartoons has got to be my favorite type of movie nowadays...
i loved Robert de Niro with his typecasted character...what else can he be
but a Godfather?! fuggedaboudit!
i also love the character of Angie - renee zellweger's voice is so cute,
& also that shark who wants to be a dolphin, jack black - real cute,
my little boy's favorite is the little fish of course, will smith!
he's too cool for school!
- i don't know what i enjoy more,
watching my little boy get a kick & lol at the movie
or the movie itself...
i think my son is the cutest of all!
he is such a natural, such a ham!

well, whatelse is new?
not much really...
been doing some planning for our relocation next year...
i did my packing organizer list, by room, then by different categories,
big items like furnitures which we won't be bringing a lot of,
medium items, like kitchen stuff, computers, desks & chairs,
& smaller items, but essentials like clothes for the season, & others to be packed
in storage boxes, what else?
getting rid of knick-knacks ( i dont even know where all these come from???) & clutter,
if there is ONE thing i hate the most....it's CLUTTER!
I HATE CLUTTER!
so i try to figure out a way to be more organized,
not to bring any clutter at all, if possible,
so i'm making a bunch of lists,
- what to bring, what to throw away, & what to give-away to charity...

I did a little house-window-shopping online,
i'm afraid these houses that are within my budget only look good online,
once i step into the location, the "hood" - i don't really know what i'll find...
what elements are lurking behind the "nice house in a 'good' school" area...
but there's no harm in doing early research,
as long as i don't daydream about these houses all day long,
as i might just be putting my hopes up too high.

& i was supposed to go to a friend's party (sort of a wishing-well, going away event)
kinda like a "crossroads" party where friends of my friend will sit & catch up
& chat about the latest happenings in my friend's very interesting life...
he sort of quit/got his position dissolved for a good severance package,
& now is just planning to bum around for a few months to a year i guess,
(some people are so lucky!)
& travel around the world, maybe Tibet or somewhere in Asia...
(something i would love to do, when i get a chance to get off this treadmill i'm on)...
- he's one of my best friends, one of the few i have left,
that hasn't given up on me after my bouts of hibernation/due to depression...
But again, i didn't make it to his party...
oh well, he's probably used to me by now.
I'm just not a party animal anymore... used to love it once in a while,
meeting new people, schmoozing & boozing (though i don't really drink, a half-glass of
beer/ or wine makes me tipsy & red... so, so much for boozing!)
can't hold it in my system...
i guess i've changed ever since a became a Mom for the second time...
i used to party or hang out more in the city when i was just
a first time Mom, then again i was also enjoying my new-found freedom
of being a single-mom...at that time.
now, i'm married & with strings attached (i'd say loose strings, ha, ha, ha)
i prefer the solitude of my suburban pad on the weekends,
enjoying the "quiet" comforts of raising my little boy
who wreaks havoc on my energy level,
i'm up with him and after a few rounds of playing games,
i'm down, knocked out...& his batteries are still running...
sometimes though, with the help of his Daddy,
taking turns to play soldier or car-crashing games,
all of a sudden his eyes start getting droopy &
he'd put his hand in his favorite pillow (his security blanket)
& doze off...then & only then,
my private time for myself starts
then i can enjoy my little quiet moments...
i can watch him sleep for an hour without tiring,
(why do kids look like angels when they're sleeping,
& little terrors once they're up & running???)
well, that's my weekend partying with my little boy...
when i hear his squels of delight at his own made-up games,
& watch him become the commander in chief,
the ruler of his minions of hot wheeling cars,
i just can't trade it for the world...
& even if he empties my cup...all the time,
so does he make it overflow with love...
the little comforts of my weekend with him,
are so special because i know they're only fleeting,
only for a moment - will he be a toddler,
then before i can catch up with everything that's going on around us...
he'll be a grown little man, who doesn't want his Mommy being sweet to him in public,
I enjoy what i can now cause he's the sweetest thing,
& maybe he'll change because they all do on the road to independence,
& maybe he'll forget how sweet he was to his Mommy, but maybe he won't...
at least now, i'm making the most out of all the hugs & kisses,
those butterfly kisses blown in the air & caught in his cute little hands,
& those sneezes right smack on my face,
& squeals of laughter followed by the pitter-patter of running footsteps
all over our little house,
i wouldn't trade it for a bigger house, at least not right now...
the closeness we have in our encroached spaces,
force us to be in-ur-face closely knit...
sometimes when it gets a bit much like getting cabin fever in the winter,
i just go running,
or lock myself in my room for a few hours, maybe the whole night...
& indulge in some quiet thinking...

p.s.
of course, U come into my mind,
i even wonder sometimes, what it would be like,
if we have a baby - yours & mine,
what a gift he/she would be,
that baby would have both U & me...how awesome would that be?
(sigh) but then again reality,
i would be too old by the time we even get lucky
to see each other again...who knows when that will be...
& what kinds of stories of dragons in our lives we have to slay...
before a little good night's kiss...
can lead to a hug, or a dance maybe,
at the age of sixty???

ha,ha,ha...till then U will always be with Me.